SHE DRUMS the Women's Community Drumming Circle Communal Voice :


To add Your Communal Voice

e-mail Hazel shedrums@earthlink.net



Perfect Day Prayer
Today is my perfect day because I choose to create it as perfect.  I choose
peace by allowing Your will to be in my life today.  Dance through me, Creator,
Breathe through me.

Today you are my speaking and my listening.  I know that you go before me
blessing each moment and smoothing my path.  I take delight in participating in
your Divine Plan.  I am surrounded by inner feelings of fulfillment, abundance
and freedom.

Today is a turning point.  Miracles meet me wherever I go.  I accept your
indwelling presence.  My mind opens to your wisdom.  I feel sage and innocent.
I give myself permission to relax, take breaks and to have fun.

Your voice calls out to me when I forget and fall deeply into your loving arms,
finding a peace so deep and still that I am no longer disrobed by the world.

Your inner presence provides an energy and blessing where I go.  My friends and
family are profoundly touched by your love as it flows through me.

Today is my perfect day because I choose to create it as perfect.
Thank you
- Author Unknown

submitted by : Nan Actipes


Dear Hazel

Happy Birthday I'm sorry I was not able to attend to your drumming circle tonight

I had some relatives I had to meet up with.


This poem is about you and how I've seen you spread your wings and take jumps into the air

as you did in this poem.


Flying into the depths of life


The Sun Gold rays of comfort

Ocean breezes streaming through my body

Feeling my wings on me, being apart of me as one, strengthen my youth

My body pumping with new energy never here until now

Looking over seeing my own reflection in the air makes me even more excited

Three  two  one

I'm in the air down first feeling all my body Waite gone and up knowing I'm safe

Up....up....up....through paper thin clouds of easiness no struggles

Gliding on salt water

Feeling my pals smooth, steady, as calm as a drum stick

banging once every second on a symbol

Hearing whispers from the mountains around me

Feeling the waters fingers reach up and touch my hand as I'm gliding over

Returning above on my mountain.


--Lori Willows

age 13




the black walls whisper

telling each other their secrets

I sit on the floor

staring out the window

imagination gone

thoughts gone

thoughts nowhere to be seen

lightning strikes the sky

dreams are in the north

the dark room is comfort

fear drives by in its Mini Cooper

the clock ticks

as time flies by

music in my ears

soothes my emotions

the dark room is comfort.


--Lori Willows



Black Storm


clear bluish green waves of destruction


gentle but harsh.


I lay facing

facing something so magnificent !

Short warm breezes in my hair

rustling few strands.


The purple towel soft

with Ocean water all over.


Purr white sand around for distances

like snow that doesn't melt.


Black storm clouds over looking everything in it's path,

touching the Ocean with white fingers

fast like as if it hurt when it touched salty water.


close my eyes

listen to the waves crash over each other one after the other

never stooping yet still never starting.





The radical origins of Mother's Day – as a powerful feminist call against war, penned in the wake

of the U.S. Civil War in 1870 – are fully compatible with the universal notion of honoring mothers.

Women, even more so now, are the primary sufferers of warfare. In the 20th Century, civilian

populations bore 90 percent of war's casualties around the world; mass and indiscriminate attacks, popularized in WWII by the Holocaust, Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the Allied fire bombings in Japan and Germany, and the rape of Nanjing, are only the most spectacular examples of a phenomenon in which women become the rape and famine victims, the refugees, the forgotten statistics in what are invariably the wars of men.  


Arise, then, women of this day!
Arise all women who have hearts,
Whether your baptism be that of water or of tears
Say firmly:
"We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands shall not come to us reeking of carnage,
For caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We women of one country
Will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.
From the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with
Our own. It says, "Disarm, Disarm!"
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice!
Blood does not wipe out dishonor
Nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons of war.
Let women now leave all that may be left of home
For a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace,
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God. In the name of womanhood and humanity,

I earnestly ask That a general congress of women without limit of nationality
May be appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient
And at the earliest period consistent with its objects
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions.
The great and general interests of peace.


submitted by Candace Esslinger

Mother's Day May 2004




An ode to Saturn Returns…



All my shit keeps being taken away

The soot underneath my furnace will go next

When this happens

I feel suspended between the oxygen and the atoms

That connects to make fire

I am one who dances in the flame

Flesh hangs over wooden prongs

Like a god dam skewer of kabob

My heart starts to turn colors

And you sing hymns of Jesus being persecuted on a cross

Shiva dances underneath the moonlight

He sits on top of a fiery throne

My only question is


How does that man

Not feel the pain

Of all the poisonous snakes beneath him

How does he not feel the heat from all his attachments?

My cat dies

Her breath barely escaping her lungs

Fire me

You son of a bitch

Fire me

Rid me of my humble nature


The deep seated demon that lurks

Beneath my colored flesh

Show me I have no power

Toss me into the fiery depths of hell

Watch my face twinge with the anticipation

Of unknowingness

Do not spare me

One Holy Spirit says to another

Do not spare the lesson that winds itself

Around my ash like a coil

All parts of me disperse

Gray colored smoke emits into the air

As my limbs grind themselves


Into the stones on the earth

I return to nature

My forced awakening

like an awkward probing

creates a sensation

of sheer discomfort

my hands find themselves in fists

my voice cracks

like a wet log

used as kindle to a fire

try walking this path

only to leave a chalky trail

like a mythical


with a square





A figment of your imagination


My ass never did exist…


Kristen Cone

March 2004



How many Goddess worshipper...

Existentialist...She Drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them...

One to change the light bulb...

the rest to honor the Goddess within...

expressing themselves through the power of rhythm...

& Hazel to observe how the light bulb symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of Cosmic Nothingness which can be transformed by Love.






I know fear & fear knows me.

We have danced together, slept together, woke, breathed, ate and nearly died together.

Do you know the fear that is palpable?

Can you smell it off the people you meet?

Can you taste it, touch it, and feel it in the world around you?

Do you know the pain of fear? 

The joy that comes once it is over, when you realize,

“Yes, I am still alive”?

Do you know fear?


I know fear & fear knows me…

The deep dark recesses of the mind kind of fear, the fear we don’t like to talk about.  The unending darkness of paralyzing fear touching me, smothering me, stealing my last breath, paralyzing my body, while releasing my bowels.


Have you ever seen the eyes of a deer before stealing its soul with your car?

That’s the fear that I know.

Fear, my worst friend, has kept my heart beating when it should have stopped.


I know fear & fear knows me…

The burden & suffering, the mountains of struggle on my shoulders, my spirit fights to leave my body…because it simply boggles the senses why it should stay.


My friend Fear beats my solar plexus so hard that regurgitation is the immediate response.

My friend constricts around my lungs, stealing that last bit of air.

Is it time?  Is it time to go?  I couldn’t possibly stay. 

It feels so right.


Fear is my friend, she will tell me what to do, how to live, what I can say, wear and how I should act.


Fear has no limits.


Prayers are useless against Fear, a million prayers screamed up to my gods, falling on deaf ears.  “Make this stop or get me out of here!!”.....all pleas seemingly unanswered.


If there were any goodness or light out there, it would stop this torture, pain and terror and take me out of here!!!


I know Fear & Fear knows me…

My old friend challenges me every day.

My ancestors ripped the hearts out of their bravest warriors in response to fear.

Appease the Gods, win the war, and bring the harvest….summon the Sun back to us tomorrow.  All of these souls offered to Fear…what if the Sun never rises?


I know fear & fear knows me…

Fear has been my lover and my best friend. 

Can I go on? Can I go on??  Can I face that next challenge she puts before me? 


When you have danced with Fear long enough, you realize there are only 2 options.


You can lock your door and hide, hoping that she doesn’t find you, with hope that it will all go away, wishing for a better life next time…

OR you can embrace her and learn from Fear.


I know fear & fear knows me.

Fear knows me and trembles at her masterpiece.


Fear knows me.

I am the one strong enough to keep praying.

I am the one sitting neck deep in terrorized fear that found the voice to say…



Fear knows me…

I am the one who didn’t blink.

I am the one whose heart kept beating, whose mind kept going – who survived with the skills fear taught me.


Fear knows me… I am the one who leads the dance now.


I still hear her hateful, insidious, terror filled voices…



Well, the sun continues to rise…

My heart will beat until the Goddess decides otherwise…

I hold my head up proudly and walk, with the scars from fear stitched in gold across my soul.


She has made me strong and as I prepare to let go of her hand, which has lead me so far…she stops.


She says, “Breathe…” and I do.

As she releases her hold she says, “What is that smell?”


No longer covered with the stench of shit…..I look Fear in the eye and say, “All I smell, is VICTORY.”



November 22, 2003

Regina Marie Rowe

Hija de la mujer de la montaña


Harmonic Concordance: A bird's eye view
By Kiara Windrider

Like the Harmonic Convergence back in August 1987, the Harmonic
Concordance of November 8, 2003, has become a major rallying cry for
the infusion of new consciousness upon our ailing planet. What does
this event represent, and what kind of impact will it have on our
planetary evolution? I have been receiving hundreds of articles on this
theme over the internet, and it is no easy task to try and summarize
all this, but I would like to make an attempt here to place it in
context of the larger evolutionary drama of these times. I will not so
much go into the astrological significance here, but take more of a
bird's eye perspective on this event.
There are some key themes that stand out for me. There are many who
have written in great detail of the unique astrological significance of
this moment. (Please refer to the links at end of article). There has
been unprecedented solar activity recently. The Mayan daykeepers speak
of a time of 'purification'. Earthquake and volcanic activity is on the
rise, as is social and political unrest. Many are reporting increased
spiritual and psychic perceptivity. And many are realizing that we are
not alone in the universe after all.
Like many others, I have long felt that 2003 AD would serve as a
turning point in human and planetary history, a choice point of sorts,
where human consciousness would face its darkest hour and either
succumb to it or rise triumphant from the ashes. Or both. The Grand
Sextile represented in this Harmonic Concordance allows for the
possibility of hope, but it is a hope that is not separate from our
collective intentions. Millions of people came together that day to
seed a new dream for Earth, to say enough to the politics of dominance,
to say yes to an emerging galactic consciousness. Millions of people
are together creating a unified morphogenetic field of light that is
allowing the old collective thoughtforms of fear and rigidity to break
down. Yet, as light shines in through the chinks, the old control
dramas, whether personal or political, are becoming increasingly
challenged, increasingly desperate, increasingly vocal.
What this represents is the last dance of a polarized worldview. When
the Hopis and Mayas and Christians speak about the Day of Purification,
this is what they are referring to. It is not just a violent
destruction of the old forms without a renewal of  hope for co-creating
heaven on earth, nor is it a sudden bright awakening without
corresponding cataclysms or loss. We are seeing increasingly how both
these forces of life and death are playing themselves out in our lives
and in our world.
As above, so below. Ultimately, in order to better understand what is
happening on Earth, perhaps we should look to the Sun. Two weeks ago,
scientists reported the biggest Coronal Mass Ejections from the Sun
ever witnessed. Any time there is sunspot activity it activates a chain
of events that results in massive changes on the Earth. Many scientists
and seismologists are concerned that we may see unprecedented
earthquake and volcanic activity in months and years to come. Some even
see signs of a pole shift. Correspondingly, our human circuitry is also
undergoing stress and change.
Could there be more to this than we imagine? Could our Sun and solar
system be going through a bigger process than can be explained through
our current scientific data? People have been talking about Ascension
for a long time. Could there be a scientific basis to this? I want to
emphasize first that when I speak of Ascension I am not speaking of an
escape hatch where we leave the problems of Earth behind and go to some
higher realm of light, but rather we bring that higher realm of light
into the morphogenetic fields of Earth to begin the transformational
process here and now.
Where do these higher realms of light emanate from? The Mayas,
Egyptians, Hopis, and many indigenous people looked to the Sun as their
Source or Divinity. Could it be that what is happening on the Sun today
is directly related to what is taking place on Earth right now? Could
it be that the Sun Himself is going through an Ascension process,
entraining the entire solar system with it?
Some scientists seem to think so. Dr. Mike Lockwood of the Rutherford
Appleton National Laboratories in California claims that the magnetic
field of the sun has increased by 230% in the past hundred years. Dr.
Dmitriev at the Russian National Academy of Science states that we are
entering a highly luminous region of space, and that the entire
heliosphere, (magnetic field of the solar system) has undergone a 1000%
increase in its intensity. This is changing all life support systems in
the solar system. Ultimately, he says, the continued expansion of the
heliosphere will lead to a sudden expansion of basic harmonic
wavelength emitted by the sun, which will change the nature of all
matter in the solar system.
This is a good description of the Ascension process. Could these great
explosions and solar flares on the Sun's surface be a preparation for
the imminent experience of a dimensional shift, a transmutation of form?
I believe that what we are experiencing on Earth today is a reflection
of this journey. The Mayans spoke of 2012 AD as representing the end of
a dimension ruled by linear time, and a transition to a world of "no-
time". Is the Harmonic Concordance one step along this grand staircase
of time, eventually crossing the threshold of the door to eternity?
I mentioned earlier that global apocalypse and planetary transformation
are two manifestations of the same evolutionary force. Perhaps it takes
a massive human crisis for the entrenched human ego to surrender to its
own latent divinity. Perhaps this is what we are seeing today, whether
on the environmental, political, or spiritual levels.  As my friend
Barry Martin puts it,
"On the path of awakening, we inevitably encounter both assistance and
resistance. Within a world of duality, every time a white magician is
born, a black master also takes incarnation. As an old age dies and a
new era is born within the realm of polarity, forces that both support
and resist evolution come forth in their most potent manifestations .
Out of the unfolding fusion of all apparent opposites, a never-before-
known level of deeply embodied spirit will emerge. Ever-vaster realms
of experience will be revealed in God's eternal dance of knowing and
experiencing itself in an infinity of possibility."

The Great Initiation has begun, and the astrological energies of the
Harmonic Concordance reflect the evolutionary energies now underway. If
our understanding of the Mayans is correct, we have 9 years before the
end of a very long cycle of linear time to the beginning of a solar
As an aside, I would like to comment briefly on Drunvalo's article
which has been running around the internet where he refers to the
possibility that due to distortions in the Gregorian calendar,  the
Mayan end date of 2012 AD should actually be 2003 AD. I respect his
insights but in this regard I think he is mistaken. The Mayan calendar
runs completely independently of Gregorian time, and their count is
still current. They have no need to refer to the Gregorian calendar to
tell us that what they know of time cycles in the present moment. If
they say it is nine years away, it is nine years away regardless of
what the Gregorian timeline tells us.
May we walk in beauty.


Harmonic Concor-Dance Meditation: by Hazel L’Aura G.

Focus on your breath and the beating of your heart, allowing a rhythm

to establish, take your awareness, even deeper inside now, to the space of your personal soul-seed…the seed of your true nature…the authentic expression of Self…Really explore where this seed can be found and accessed within you…is it in your solar plexus, heart center, the higher levels of consciousness, or somewhere else?...Tend this inner landscape with your breath…begin to create a bridge to the seed of great potential within you…breathe in light energy holding it inside, to illuminate the seed

of potential you are cultivating and help it take root within you, and then gently release the breath…& let the light pour forth from you into all

of creation…breathe in flexibility to your seed area, holding this space inside for a moment, so that the seed and roots remain adaptable

with change, and once again, gently release the breath…As you expand your consciousness from within you, see yourself swirling up into the sky…see heavenly bodies before you…stars, clouds and even the

hazy forms of galaxies…You marvel at the sight that is unfolding before you & within you…


As the formations in the sky appear one by one, you notice they also start to link up to each other, creating at 1st a spiral pattern…As they come

into your field of vision, You feel as if you are watching a cosmic dance

in the movement of the universe… you are a witness, as 6 planets form

a star of David around you…you sense that this is your unique place

in this vast universe…begin to breathe into your being the many qualities

of the universe you are witnessing, making them part of you…/

The white hot light of the Sun, embraces you with it’s radiant divinity which you embody… calling out to you…“I am The Sun, the Will and the Light

of Spirit…the primal energy and cause for being; the vitality that inspires life; I bring the conscious aim that expresses the best of who We are,

to this moment”.../  The Sun in Scorpio means, Shared resources and the consciousness of power & relationship…People are, for the most part, dependent on one another for survival even though we go to great lengths to deny this connection…Sun in Scorpio illuminates our need for transformation, showing us we have the power, strength and resources

to help ourselves & others to grow in healthy ways…/ 


Behind you is the Full Moon, She whispers…

“Yes…I am The Moon in eclipse…your Emotions & Needs; the Divine feminine...I am the Mother, the shelter of home and the avenues of habit

& instinct…I bring the personal subconscious mind, memory & imagination to this moment”…/

You stand between the Sun & moon, you are the Earth,

your shadow eclipses the moon in Taurus…which points to

a dilemma in accepting true nourishment, the possibility of shortages

with food & resources...It is a wake-up call to reach out for & to live

our real values…we don't need to wait for a crisis to seek out & build community, to honor the Goddess within & to connect with people who are willing to share resources mutually in order to improve the lives

of everyone…an eclipsed Moon in Taurus is a significant comment on

the issue of self-respect, which is the real definition of self-esteem…

The Sun-Moon opposition is calling us to be highly aware of inequity

in our personal relationships…/This eclipse is happening shortly after All Hallows, also called the Day of the Dead, when the veils are thin…

calling on us to honor our common fate, notice the inevitable cycles of life and death, and to establish contact with our ancestors and predecessors…


With a lunar eclipse there is an acceleration of energy and compression of events…From the viewpoint of the Earth, the Moon appears to go from

Full to dark, to Full again, as if an entire lunar cycle had unfolded in the space of minutes… Change…the time of change is now…/

Coming from a right angle You hear a powerful voice…/

”I am Mars – the Courage, Impulse, Desire, Energy and Willingness to Act. 

I am the stimulation of Passions.  I am the Spiritual Warrior and I am active in this moment”…/

On one level Mars in Pisces is the process of learning the difference between passion and aggression…It's also about taking on a warrior spirit to uphold truth & justice…We are witnessing a very serious crisis of integrity in our culture, and can point to many people who are telling lies,

& the mass of people who believe those lies, is devastating…Mars in Pisces is saying believe no lies & speak only truth….Living the truth

of the compassionate warrior…/

Across the way a wise old voice announces…  

“I am Saturn – Physicality, the bones of Mother Earth & our bodies; I am the disciplinarian and 'tester' of our metal; I speak of the limitations

of the physical world, & bring endurance,  perseverance, and stability

to this moment”…/


Saturn in Cancer Preserves the integrity of the home…

setting limits…creating a Sanctuary, the foundation block

of  community…"the world is our home"…is the message of this transit… Bringing into focus major developments in solar power and other alternative energy sources and awareness of the need for conservation…

Saturn's greatest rewards come when we learn to work within limits;

that's the essence of Saturn's game...We certainly do have limits

to work with and that means very rich rewards if we don't ignore them…/from another angle calls the voice of the benevolent king…/

“I am Jupiter, the God Concept and Her Vision...I am the king of the gods and I bring good fortune & expansion…I bring the higher mind, wisdom & enthusiasm…generosity and optimism as well as the publication of ideals to this moment…May they increase on all levels”…/

Jupiter in Virgo is about applying critical thinking to religious &

academic dogma...Virgo is about reasoning power, discernment

& intelligence….Jupiter in this sign says question reality...

It says we need spiritual values that address the practical concerns

of real people…/


To complete the alignment, hear the voice of Chiron, the wounded healer, whose symbol is the key & the lock itself…/

 I am Chiron, the Crystal Rainbow Bridge between the inner and outer planets, between the body & Spirit…I bring the Christ consciousness

to this moment of initiation, joining the human & divine as one”…/


Chiron in Capricorn holds the image of the raising of awareness

in the political and social justice arenas…Exposés about everything from sex abuse in churches to Enron, Worldcom and many other

corporate atrocities…There is a scandal a day coming out of the

White House… Chiron in Capricorn is compelling us to hold awareness

of these issues, to heal the darkness in the light, & to own up to our part

in the game… reminding us to pay attention to the ways in which the political is distinctly personal…Every law that is passed eventually finds its way into your living room…//


Allow yourself to breathe in any other resources that come to you here,

for the continued growth of your soul-seed, holding this Star of David space inside & then gently exhaling the breath while the positive qualities remain within you…bask in the messages from these 6 cosmic teachers that form the star of David in & around you…


this is a nurturing portal for your soul-seed…

the holy grail…a matrix of timeless symmetry for The activation of Unity Consciousness… Experience being one with All Creation...

We are One…The Self Realization of all Humanity…

that each of us, in this moment & beyond, realizes our inborn divinity…

Live in the consciousness of this grace…building  & evolving this energy

for the Ascension of Mother Earth…Visualize her expansion into a higher state of awareness, in which she is able to create a harmonious ecological balance that benefits her well-being & that of all of her children…/

Take as much time as you need witnessing any other qualities that come to you here in the star, and breathe out anything you would like to let go of, sending it to its rightful place in the universe, with the intention of transmuting it to light energy for the benefit of all…/

as you breathe in expansion, you breathe in creation from source,

you breathe in the harmony of the spheres, you breathe in infinite resources, you breathe in higher intelligence, you breathe in vastness…

As you model these qualities on the inner level with your inhalations, you sense your place in the infinite cosmos and the feeling of liberation

& energy it brings, so that your soul-seed will manifest in its right time

& place…/

Take as much time as you need to allow the qualities and energies that have been brought forth to resonate within you, as you continue to breathe in light energy, stability, flexibility, resources, care and nurturing,

bringing them into your life…//


start to breathe in some clarifying and grounding breaths now…

in from the bottom of the feet…up through the center of the body…

& out the top of your head, to kiss the stars…

& then down from the top of the head, through the center of the body

& out through the bottom of your feet…as we prepare to transition out of meditation…feeling purified, centered & energized…shining from the inside out, with the 6 pointed star radiating from our heart of hearts…//


You may want to reconnect with your body by stretching & shaking your hands, & feet, rolling your head & neck…keep breathing…allowing yourself some time to adjust to your new cosmic imprint… slowly, open your eyes…& feel the unity of this community supporting this alignment within ourselves & our planet earth…blessed be…

                                          H.A.G. Nov. 7 – 10  2003

Homas are being performed at Sri Siva's Temple in India throughout
NAVARATRI.  Ask for Wealth - Protection - Intelligence - ALL THE BEST

The 9 Nights of the Goddess - Navaratri - is considered to be one of
the most auspicious times of the Hindu calendar.  Essentially, it is a
time to invoke the various aspects of the Goddess and to celebrate the
victory of good over evil.  Being able to propitiate the Goddess
during this time is a great blessing and a rare and powerful
opportunity. It is a time of magic that can alter the course of your
life and your soul's destiny in amazing ways.


Navaratri (which literally means "nine nights") is divided into sets
of 3 days to adore different aspects of the Goddess.  In Tamil Nadu,
the first three days of the festival are dedicated to Lakshmi, the
next three to Durga, and the last three to Saraswati.  On the first
three days, the Goddess is adored as the giver of wealth and
prosperity - both spiritual and material.  Lakshmi has the power to
give her devotees inexhaustible wealth.  For the next three days, the
Goddess is invoked as a powerful protective force called Durga.  Durga
destroys all of our impurities, vices, and defects.  She also protects
us from negative influences and forces.  The final three days are
spent worshipping the Goddess Saraswati, who bestows wisdom,
intelligence, and learning.

In order to achieve all-around success in life, we need the blessings
of all three aspects of the Goddess.  Navaratri is a time to call on
the Goddess and to ask for blessings...

The Culture of Water

Rachael Himsel

 I grew from the soul, grew up on farms and firm land, an occasional mud puddle to splash in, but really, the only waves were amber waves of grain, the only seas, seas of green and brown trees when spring rains made the wilderness come alive and rivers swell, but never rushing, really, never pounding like only the waves of the Ocean can pound, never beating out a steady rhythm like only the tide can, like only a heartbeat.

I found a college amidst the cornfields of Indiana, with the closest body of water being Cataract Falls (you didn’t know that Indiana harbors a gorgeous waterfall, did you?)  And furthered my education in the waves of grain and soybeans.   

But I grew thirsty.

 So.  I traveled.  And wherever I went, I found Water.  I found the Tiber flowing through Rome, I found ponds and lakes in Vienna.  I floated up and down the canals of Venice, I swam in the icy cold Rhine in Regensburg.  I rubbed naked against Cicco in the Mediterranean Sea and I let myself be pummeled by the might of the Atlantic Ocean at Oak Island. 

I felt the power and timelessness of AQUA Herself. 

And She welcomed me, She warmed me, She chilled me, She slapped me awake cold and invigorated, She seeped into my thirsty cunt and filled my nose my ears my speechless mouth.  She came close to knocking the life out of me, and in doing so, reminded me of just how precious Living is, and how constant She, the Force, Aqua is. 

And  so.  And so I drove myself to Chicago, Chicago where I knew no one, Chicago where gangsters used to roam and now gangs call home, Chicago where there is Life and Beauty and Music and Laughter and sweat and snow and oh God the snow and food and drink from all around this sweet, sweet mother-fuckin’ world and most importantly, yes, most importantly, the LAKE.  Lake Michigan.  Fresh AQUA.  She drew me here, above all else, the thought of dwelling beside her, of visiting her anytime I wanted, of hearing her infinite wisdom, of feeling her simplicity and anger and hurt and love – that is what drew me to Chicago.  I can lie to myself and others and say it was for the culture – the theatre, music, and art – but really, it was for a whole other culture, the culture of Water.  Yes.  Um-hmmm.  Uh huh. 



By Rachael Himsel

July, 2003


As I bleed and my cunt aches

and my womb opens up

A cavern with a blood river

Flowing through it

Carrying the debris of words spent

Love misspent, emotions rent,

Letters never sent,

Here a bottle of white whine floating by,

There a raft full of hopes

Flowing slowly sickly sweetly

Down this bloody runny river

Emptying out in a waterfall between my legs

Carrying with it another possibility

Another month of nothings 

Thirty days of drought 

The lack of water (emotion) causing a landslide,

No, a bloodslide mudslide within me

those walls of blood meeting and coagulating 

“Here we go again!  No reason to stick around in here!  Let’s jet!” 

And that river flows

that bloody runny river

It flows hot and messy

It flows incessantly 

Once those floodgates fly open.


And there, there went a dried-up flower,

and now, what is that in the distance? 

The bloody river carries with it a silver ring 

A silver ring shining bright in a sea of red 

And inside that ring, an inscription that will never be seen,

that only I know, an inscription that simply says,

For those I did not know.


Forgive me and thank me,

fuck me or forsake me

(or all of the above) 

Just do not send me into that muddy bloody river

devoid of love  

Do not even let me linger on its shores,

for I know that its powerful current can suck me in 

And no, no, don’t try to snatch that ring from this mess,

no, let it go, let it flow, for it is better not to know,

and not to dwell, not to wonder why,

but rather, to wait til the river dries up

and balance is restored

wait til the loss is recovered

(shhh!  It never can be!) 

But convince yourself it can,

convince yourself that a silver ring is merely a ring,

that there are gold rings and diamond rings

and ruby rings and sapphires still. 

Maybe the silver ring is gone, but there are others. 

Maybe a small one, maybe a large one,

but none of them

tainted with blood. 


'Drumming is a path to the soul, a vehicle for transformation,

an ancient tradition, which raises energy for people and the planet. 

Through the drum, we connect to the rhythm of life and the universal heartbeat!
Drumming engages our heart, our smiles; builds community through diversity.
Call this spiritual or not.  Certainly this is Divine. 

Drum, dance and play for peace!

Deb Hawk
The Heart of Drumming,
May 2003



These Hands


These hands tell stories

The lips dare not speak

Tales of ancient glory

A new kingdom of the meek


These hands tell the story

A cause to celebrate

When you listen to my hands

There's no need to translate


These hands tell the story

No need for the word

If you want to know the story

It's my drum that can be heard


For in the heartbeat of the drum

There can be no disguise

No misinterpretation, no fiction

And no lies


Won't you join me in this story

The one that never ends?

Let our hands play the rhythm

A joyful noise we will send


Candace Esslinger 2003c, May 21 2003


Hi Hazel -


Please feel free to share this with the group:  I forced myself to attend on Friday (June 6th 2003) because the depression was at an all-time high; horrible thoughts were running rampant in my head.  I decided to take charge and get back control of my life and have fun.  I love Lake Street Church and have always felt safe just being in the building.  This place has kept me sane.  I was so exhilarated  that I came home singing, called my friends and family and slept like a baby.

I'm looking forward to seeing everyone again.  I definitely want to be a monthly member.  I took all my aggressions out on the drum, was grateful I didn't break it or my hand!  ha ha

Hugs to you.
Bless you.
Bunny Velasco, June 7 2003



who is H.A.G. ?